Shame Alchemy for… sacrificing authenticity

Welcome to the Shame Alchemy for Entrepreneurs series!

This is a weekly series where I take anonymous submissions and speak to common shame triggers for folks growing their businesses within capitalism while actively resisting capitalist modes of being. Here, we hold space for nuance, get into the mess of business and survival, and talk about what ethical entrepreneurship really feels like.

I’ve been thinking about how often I end up watering myself down while making content for the algorithm/for a trend instead of just… saying what I actually want to say. And I feel kind of gross about it after, but also like, I don’t even know when that started. Is this just how it works now?

The way you’ve phrased this question is actually quite powerful, whether you intended it that way or not. “Is this just how it works now?” is a shame-related question, because part of systemic shame’s primary function is to keep our behavior aligned with the goals of the system. In other words, systemic shame wants you to notice “how things work” and fall in line. And you’ve done so, which isn’t another portal for more shame, but simply information that indicates the system is working as intended. None of that is your fault or anything to feel further ashamed of. In fact, you should feel proud of yourself for questioning “how things work” when participating in the way things work makes you feel gross or weird or empty inside.

Now, you’re still needing an answer to your question—not just a meta-examination of your question. Is this just how things work these days? I’m going to take a leap and assume what you mean by this question: are capitulating to the social media algorithm and cheapening my message in my content to gain visibility while sacrificing authenticity in the process just things I should accept as part of my business owner duties now? Is this something everybody has to do?

Yes… and no.